I am 28 years old single and lonely as hell. I find myself unable to sleep my, when I finally gets some I wake up and just feel so all alone. Tonight as I lay in bed I erupted into tears, begging to have someone in my life, I was thinking of this person who I really think is special they have to realize I have feelings for them, yet never lead on like I could even possibly have feelings. The truth is it is not them it is me. I always do this to myself. Am I some sadist, hopeless romantic, bound to torture myself? You would think that someone who wears their heart on their sleeve would have scar tissue as tough as titanium by now. I truly envy those who put up the barriers around their hearts, at least they do not get crushed every little bit. What do I do? I can���t take this. I am tearing myself up from the inside. Even now as I type sob uncontrollably. I just feel so all alone, empty, incomplete.