I am 28 years old single and lonely as hell. I find myself unable to sleep my, when I finally gets some I wake up and just feel so all alone. Tonight as I lay in bed I erupted into tears, begging to have someone in my life, I was thinking of this person who I really think is special they have to realize I have feelings for them, yet never lead on like I could even possibly have feelings. The truth is it is not them it is me. I always do this to myself. Am I some sadist, hopeless romantic, bound to torture myself? You would think that someone who wears their heart on their sleeve would have scar tissue as tough as titanium by now. I truly envy those who put up the barriers around their hearts, at least they do not get crushed every little bit. What do I do? I can���t take this. I am tearing myself up from the inside. Even now as I type sob uncontrollably. I just feel so all alone, empty, incomplete.



Comments

  • hopelessguy said Sep 25, 2008...
    I should add how pathetic I feel too!!
  • beyondtheveil said Sep 25, 2008...
    I went through something like this in my early twenties. The only thing I found that helped was being active. I immersed myself in work, went places even though there was no reason to go and actually enjoyed it because I was around people. The hope lies in that it will end, and it will someday. You have to keep active until that someday. Lying around thinking about it only takes you deeper into where you are now. If you have interests, follow them. If you believe depression is the cause of this, you can find out and get help. 
  • findingX said Sep 26, 2008...
    i too have gone this road before and not that long ago ... its true the best thing you can do is being active, going outdoors, but i believe also letting go i had no one to talk to, i was all alone also cried myself to sleep many nights i didnt knew this sites even existed...you have a chance to let go your feelings with us, talk to us...where are here i think to support ourselves...i have read a lot of blogs but this is my first.so im new at this...thank God i found this site cause im also feeling sad and lonely not like before but still....but somehow i feel better after 30 mins of being here cause maybe its funny but somehow making a comment on your blog made me feel a little better and not alone....dont know how but eventually ....all that sadness will go away....and remember whatever activities you like do them....they will keep you busy and not thinking ....to a point when you wont noticed anymore that you were feeling lonely...and sad.......hope i helped i little....
  • secretlife said Sep 26, 2008...
    i agree with those before me-  keep as busy as you can.  make a list of things you want to do but never tried.  pick one thing, and vow to yourself to try it.  walk, run, join a church group, a social network, a gym.......join SOMETHING.   think of this time as the time to improve YOU.  to know yourself, and to experience the world around you.  think of it as the gift that it is.
  • bloggerport12 said Sep 27, 2008...
    i can definately relate to what you feel.. hang in there.. distract youself with some activities: like join a gym or hobby class or something...till about a month ago i used to have numerous breakdown many times a day.. without anyone even knowing about it. my closest friends also dont know abou how i feel. soulcast is a great place to express you emotions..
  • Misty_Eyed said Sep 29, 2008...
    This sounds like classic depression to me. No, you're not worthless, and no, nothing's hopeless (the way everything might seem to be right now). Finding a really good therapist (and psychiatrist or family to doctor) could make all the difference for you, if you haven't done so already. I avoided meds at first--probably due to the stigma attached--but they're awesome when you find the right one(s). They don't change who you are or your personality or anything. They just help you to feel like yourself again and take an interest in things (and get all your basic functions, like sleeping and eating, back on track a bit).You are not alone, so please don't feel lonely for too long.And yes, exercise REALLY helps to if you can make yourself do it. Just keep it fun so you can actually enjoy it. 28 is so young. You have so much wonderful life left to live! It WILL get better. (You just have to know that and ride it out. Remember, if you're suffering from depression, it's not a personality defect but an actual medical disorder which can respond really well to treatment.)Good Luck
  • Misty_Eyed said Sep 29, 2008...
    OOhh. And secretlife is so write about trying something new. But make sure you have some good company, if needed, if you're going to try something a little daring--like karaoke. 
  • blondee0718 said Sep 29, 2008...
    Oh!  I swear last night I had the same episode, but before I went to sleep.  I'm right where you are right now too...and it sucks, but I've learned that sometimes we have to go through it to renew ourselves....remind us of what we want and how we can go about getting it, and to appreciate what exactly we have...it's kind of like a rebound effect.  I find that when I get down because I am alone, that I have to look at myself in the mirror, and remind myself that I'm a great person, who deserves all the happiness in the world, and for whatever reason, destiny has decided that right now is not my time...but it will come.  Hang in there buddy...as hard as it is to wait...you're time will come when it's the right time.  (wow...now if I can only follow my own advice....)
  • hopelessguy said Oct 11, 2008...
    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} So today is my birthday, and I have spent the entire day alone, with the exception of brother and parents no one has even said happy birthday. I feel like hardly any one even cares about me. I thought about going out to dinner or to a night club and the realization that I was alone made me burst into tears again, I hate my life right now. I just feel so lonely and horrible. I feel so bad about myself I cannot even get out and try anything, I wonder what the point is. I cannot this, I hate feeling so lonely.
  • hopelessguy said Oct 11, 2008...
    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} So today is my birthday, and I have spent the entire day alone, with the exception of brother and parents no one has even said happy birthday. I feel like hardly any one even cares about me. I thought about going out to dinner or to a night club and the realization that I was alone made me burst into tears again, I hate my life right now. I just feel so lonely and horrible. I feel so bad about myself I cannot even get out and try anything, I wonder what the point is. I cannot this, I hate feeling so lonely.
  • sadsadgirl said Oct 21, 2008...
    It doesn't help-being active; I work 13 hours a day six days a week; and I can't stop about being lonely; every day I die because nobody wants me; being active doesn't change that; hope is a tricky thing; I have had my hopes for many years now; nothing has changed; I am older, more depressed (even the antidepressants don't help) If it were so easy, there wouldn't be so many unhappy and lonely people. So maybe it's better jsut to die, disappear; hen this pain would end...
  • secretlife said Nov 1, 2008...
    hopelessguy-  i just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday, and to tell you that although i have lots of times where i'm just very very sad these days, i also am very aware that i have the power within myself to change my outlook-  and i will never give up hope.    you have to reach out in this world-  be bold-  and go for things outside of your comfort zone-  you have to keep both your mind and your hands busy.  you have to have a stake in life-  do you know what i mean?  you have to care about life-  and then, whether or not you have another person taking this walk with you, you'll find meaning.  i truly believe this.
  • alone said Aug 30, 2009...
    I wish I could learn to like myself. When I love someone, I give all of me to that person. When I'm rejected, as I am now, I just don't want to live. I'm desperate and cry myself to sleep. I feel worthless like no one would miss me if I were gone. I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide and instead wallow in despair. I have the need to have someone in my life who loves me for me; where its actually mutual. Sometimes I just want to give up. I have no one to talk to and can't stand the pain anymore. I need help!
  • CINDY said Sep 23, 2009...
    Hi! anyone wants to be my friend ~ i am 30 years old (female) recently move to JHB ... i had beeen so very very alone too ! but i am a Christian, so when ever i am feeling very lonely i talk to my God. i am not very depressed and i sleep well, infact i always smile because my God make me laugh, He is always a best friend of mine, one problem , i need a friend on earth too ! anyone interest call me or msg me. you may write letters to me also . CELL : 0823697969 EMAIL - cindydu@live.co.za MY NAME IS CINDY DU
  • womanwholovetoomuch said Dec 20, 2009...
    I truly understand how hopelessguy feels because I'm in the exactly same shoe. I'm reaching 30 the next year and moved to another country three years ago. I love this place and now call here my home where I was re-born. But, what makes me mad is that I am having depression since the relationship breakdown two years ago and have no support here. I have some friends at uni, but I only see talk to them in class during the semester and made some friends at church, but don't contact them anymore after I found myself manipulated by those hypocritical Catholics. Now, I'm really scared of my life and really want to stop at this stage. You know time is running and all my friends back in my hometown are getting married while I still remain single that makes me so lonely and isolated. But, I don't want to go back there because my parents are another cause of my depression and stressful environment. It seems nobody think I'm attractive or decent while I really can say I'm nice. When I was 20 and people said "when the right time comes you will meet the right guy", I accepted it and determined to enjoy being single. In 10 years now, I'm still single and hardly have a date. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sick of listening the same that people said to me 10 years ago. Everything sounds so cliche - when the right time comes...., love yourself and....., you're still young...., repeat the affirmation that I'm lovable...., blah blah.... now such words are never appealing to me. I've tried most hobbies I could enjoy and still make myself occupied with some exercise. But ultimately this doesn't fix the problem at all; I can distract myself temporarily, but I really hate loneliness flowing when I return to my empty and dark flat every night. During the day, at least I could feel happy with what I'm doing and where I am, but from the moment when I unlock my door, I don't want to handle such a lonely time any more. I really want to settle with someone for the rest of life and to feel that person breathe beside me. I want to share my life with another life. But, I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of crying over my depression and loneliness every night. I want to stop this cycle and think of death so that I can stop all the pain I'm suffering. I'm so scared that I'd end up with being single and never get married in my life. Everything seems so holpless and I just stop everything right now.
  • womanwholovetoomuch said Dec 20, 2009...
    I truly understand how hopelessguy feels because I'm in the exactly same shoe.I'm reaching 30 the next year and moved to another country three years ago. I love this place and now call here my home where I was re-born.But, what makes me mad is that I am having depression since the relationship breakdown two years ago and have no support here. I have some friends at uni, but I only see talk to them in class during the semester and made some friends at church, but don't contact them anymore after I found myself manipulated by those hypocritical Catholics.Now, I'm really scared of my life and really want to stop at this stage. You know time is running and all my friends back in my hometown are getting married while I still remain single that makes me so lonely and isolated. But, I don't want to go back there because my parents are another cause of my depression and stressful environment.It seems nobody think I'm attractive or decent while I really can say I'm nice. When I was 20 and people said "when the right time comes you will meet the right guy", I accepted it and determined to enjoy being single. In 10 years now, I'm still single and hardly have a date. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sick of listening the same that people said to me 10 years ago. Everything sounds so cliche - when the right time comes...., love yourself and....., you're still young...., repeat the affirmation that I'm lovable...., blah blah.... now such words are never appealing to me.I've tried most hobbies I could enjoy and still make myself occupied with some exercise. But ultimately this doesn't fix the problem at all; I can distract myself temporarily, but I really hate loneliness flowing when I return to my empty and dark flat every night. During the day, at least I could feel happy with what I'm doing and where I am, but from the moment when I unlock my door, I don't want to handle such a lonely time any more. I really want to settle with someone for the rest of life and to feel that person breathe beside me. I want to share my life with another life. But, I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of crying over my depression and loneliness every night. I want to stop this cycle and think of death so that I can stop all the pain I'm suffering. I'm so scared that I'd end up with being single and never get married in my life. Everything seems so holpless and I just stop everything right now.
  • Misty_Eyed said Dec 21, 2009...
    sadsadgirl: I agree that just working--especially if you're constantly doing it--won't really take your mind off of your sadness or loneliness. In fact, it probably makes it really hard to find new friends or potential love interests.hopelessguy: I really hope things are looking up for you! To a better 2010 (though it might, at first, feel exactly the same as 2009).
  • Dio-Brando said Mar 28, 2010...
    I know how you feel man i feel this way all the time and i think about suicide on almost a daily basis the fact is that people will step on you no matter what, people are cruel, selfish and sickening, but every now and then you will find someone who is genuinely kind and caring, you just need to tough it out and find a hobby to do with friends, family, or that special someone my advice, go for the sweet shy girls theyre the ones that will probably stick with you i smoke weed and it helps a little anti-depressants help too
  • lojay said Apr 3, 2010...
    I´m very lonely....i moved to a foreign country to my own...where the lanuage is so difficult to learn. i have a job teaching english but apart from my boyfriend ( who pretends i don´t exist) i am very alone. My relationship with family members back home is complicated and therefore fractured......i don´t mind so much but i just feel so alone in the world. i don,t know that my disappearing would effect so many people just recently i went to doctors for slleeping aids as i´m finding it more difficult to sleep....but i feel bad to be on meds.....i don´t know whats in store for me.....i feel that to live is so difficult
  • leftmebreathless said Apr 27, 2010...
    i always hate it when people tell me they know what im feeling but i think it cause most likely they do. Loneliness is something i can defiantly sympathize with and just wanted to let you know if you ever want to talk just email me, i could use a friend as well. as people we are in this thing together and as corny as it sounds, i would really like to help you. Not sure how much i could but i do have ears (but i guess in this case eyes haha) and i enjoy talking.  Anytime you get that feeling that your lost in a crowd of people and no one notices, email me and maybe i can help. hope your ok, your in my prayers. 
  • steveuk14 said Jun 16, 2010...
    Ok guys I have just read this entire board and I sympathize with every single person on here, and I was wondering if anyone wants to talk on msn or something, because I feel the same way as you guys, lonely and depressed im only 16, and people tell me i have my whole life ahead of me, but that does not help one bit. I recently broke up with my first serious girlfriend because we couldnt get along, and we argued and I find out she used me to get back at her ex-boyfriend, which tore me apart. Add me on Msn: stavros-09@hotmail.co.uk
  • keatman6161 said Sep 15, 2010...
    g
  • neurotic said Sep 24, 2010...
    You are 28? I'd love to meet you, I'm 24 :), I'm very lonely too. Too bad we're too far apart I guess. Anyway, what I mean is I hate it too that it takes so long to meet someone but this interaction here on the Web lets one realize that there are more lonely people than we think, at least as I would like to meet you, other women would too. Sorry for my confusing English. Oh boy, reading all the comments I felt better but also felt like we loners need to laugh a lot more about the whole situation, it is the worst to be all sad like a cheesy love song.
  • darkchylde said Sep 26, 2010...
    i am single, and despite being very lonely and depressed, it sure beats dating money hungry woman who cant give a rats ass if you are left for dead in the street. yes, i am lonely and the pain hurts. but knowing that i dont have to deal with a woman who would cheat on you on the drop if a dime or just up and leave and not care if your sick and dying is totally worth it. woman are never to be trusted..ever. they all are after the same thing, a 6 digit bank account and thier own interests.
  • Ilikebutteredscones said Oct 5, 2010...
    I feel the same way too. here is one of my favorite quotes on the subject: "I’m not aware of any factor in medicine – not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery – that has greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness and premature death than the healing power of love and intimacy. Yet the need for love and intimacy often goes unfulfilled." It really is true, we need love and intimacy. It is hard to seek fellowship when depressed though. For my depression I try to meditate everyday 30-60min. First just getting into a concentrated and relaxed state then trying to visualize what I want or just think of the good fortunes of the day. Or even just feeling grateful for the relaxed feeling that comes with practiced meditation. Being someone who is lonely as well without the answer to finding fellowship that is all I have for advice. I hope your doing well. For me, I am more inter personally lonely I guess because I am not socially isolated, and not single. Just seems all my relationships even my dearest one with my girlfriend are superficial. I swore to myself as a kid I would never go through life surrounded by people that are only interested in temporal or daily futile matters. I am trying not to say it is their fault AT ALL. I choose to be in my relationships, I just wish one of them was more then just daily small talk. I just don't know how to seek a deeper relationship with out my girlfriend feeling jealous. I try so hard to develop our relationship to push it forward but this is just her comfort zone. Every morning when I wake up I usually meditate, and on the advice of someone I visualize a bird on my shoulder and ask it, am I going to die today? not to be morbid or get sad just to help put in perspective the problems and good fortune of my daily life. The thing is when I do that the bird (i sound crazy haha) tells me, you aren't living the life you wish to live. I want to meet people, hear their ideas on life, their propensities, I want to find a way to accept death as a natural part of the life cycle, but I don't want to upset my girlfriend because I am not giving her the attention she needs.
  • chromium88 said Oct 8, 2010...
    * sorry, my previous comment is a pain to read b'coz of the smashed-up paragraphs, so hopefully the paragraph breaks appear here...thank you all for posting--i got to this page by googling: "24 years old i have nobody to talk to."<rant>i REALLY have nobody to talk to!...i've always been on a different wavelength from most people. i get very irritated if conversation is small talk all the time...people just seem to be more interested in partying than working towards real goals, or having any real direction in life (the whole "live it up" or "live fast die young" or "living for weekends" thing)...at least for a lot of people that i know in my age group...and i get very irritated when a lot of chatterbox-type people with no substance get plenty of CONSTANT social support...maybe it's a case of envy or something lol...coz why can't i get some social support too, when i'm always working so hard at something i really love to do! lol (i'm currently working towards an eventual goal of being able to make a living from writing fiction...i've been making progress, and have about 3 more targets to hit before the goal becomes a reality, ideally in about 1-2 years' time).</rant> was reading what "anonymous" said on Apr 18, 2010....wow, i thought i had wrote some parts of it myself!..."I am very alone...I am a workaholic...Im only 24 years old, I have no real friends...My family is constantly asking me why I don't have anyone. I am so sick of being alive. every day is a struggle to not break down. I have no one to talk to about my problems.........body in decent shape....lowlifes can have families, why can't i?.....etc etc"...wow that's exactly what i think/feel so much of the time...i have a very very small number of very very close friends that i email and can tell anything to, but lately they've all been very busy either graduating or going back to school or finding new jobs.......i just feel like people have no time to have meaningful interactions/relationships with others anymore...so many friendships are shallow/superficial...it doesn't have to be heavy-going all the time, but i do appreciate something with some meaning, over small talk and/or incessant mindless gossip.drawing, writing, reading, music, and exercise are the things i usually do to feel better.......i'm currently a workaholic and completing my last college semester. my email is below in case anyone wants to chat/rant/rave about anything. can't guarantee when exactly i'll be able to respond, but i will do my best!jess/24/f/chromium88@gmail.com
  • neurotic said Oct 8, 2010...
    Hey chromium 88 I think you're very right and Apr 18 is too, I feel like that. What I'm saying is apparently everyone here did ok after posting because no one has returned, there's hope huh? :D
  • lonelyincanada1985 said Oct 9, 2010...
    I am 25 and my ex broke my heart last year when I was 24, he acts as if we've never dated, like our relationship and time together meant nothing, he won't even be my friend now. Since then I have been single. I went through terrible experiences just to get my degree and now I am struggling to get a teaching position here in Canada and being of Polish descent is not much better, truth to the matter is if I was a Cossack born in Poland like my ex was I'd probably have a job by now but I am Polish and people in the province I live in, think Polish people are only good enough to be laborers, cleaners and construction workers. Not many people will want to hire me here where I live if they know who I am and they know who I am by my first name, there is a strong preference for teachers Italians and Ukrainians only- they run the two school boards in my city. The Cossacks I personally have met don't like Poles, my ex's family hated me, it has to do with religion Poland's Roman Catholic they are Greek Catholic/Orthodox and pro-Russian. I am trying to keep myself busy house yard/cleaning, going outside the house, the problem is I have friends who don't really want to hangout with me or call me much. I have friends who have used me and who constantly lie to me. I consider myself to be an attractive female 5'7, 60.5 kgs, and I am a devout Roman Catholic Christian. If any male between 22-30 is looking to hangout give me an email at love__waits@hotmail.com and I am also on facebook.
  • chromium88 said Oct 11, 2010...
    @ neurotic, oh my, you've a point there perhaps :P! i saved the link in my email so yeah, might pop back (to this thread + site) from time to time. by the way i saw your earlier post on this thread, rofl @ "we loners need to laugh a lot more about the whole situation, it is the worst to be all sad like a cheesy love song",,,,,,,,true true. i rem one Bible quote also (born Catholic but nowadays i'm more spiritual than religious)......."it is slow death to be gloomy all the time."@ lonelyincanada1985, wow i didn't know about Cossacks born in Poland / how this is viewed in where you're at in Canada. if your friends use you and constantly lie then they're not friends -- i've known a few people like that in the past, and now i generally try to focus on associating with positive people. 5'7 is a nice height, i'm like 5...@ anonymous, i think i might be like that if/when i move again too. depends on the city itself too.........right now i'm in a small town. grew up in a major urban city...not sure where i wanna settle down in atm.jess/24/f/chromium88@gmail.com
  • Rashad said Dec 25, 2010...
    Hii Every body iam 24 years old and i have the same problem.. my problem is that am having a lot of thoughts in my head lately my life is turned upside down i used to have like 300 to 400 friend when i was 19-21 but things changed too quickly,iam always nervous my family member are very good people but i treat them bad, have no idea why, in the last 3 or 4 month i dnt remember i made something exciting even my work its soo easy only 3 dayz a week and its soo boring all my colleagues are older than me .. I can't stay @ home anymore am soo sick of it ...im good looking guy but i can't be in a relation its been like 1 year b4 and all my old relation ships was for 1 or 2 month.I always find my self (not funny to hang out with) it's a major problem for me this idea making a big distance between me and people .. i need help thank u already ( sorry for my bad english tongue)
  • Wittsend said Jan 15, 2011...
    Hi all. Ive too read the post and am very sorry for what you all have gone through. Im 35 yrs old, work hard, attractive, pay my own way, and live alone. The problem is, Im so lonely...Im getting very depressed. My ex started cheating on me, broke up with me for someone they met online. Nevermind you, I moved to this city just to be with them, I always contributed in the relationship, was their for them, they still dumped me. It cut like a knife, now Im here truggling to feel Im worthwhile still. I aside from co-workers and a few others hardly know anyone here because my ex as so cruel, they moved out of the very city I moved to for them. Im lost, completely.
  • lostandnotfound said Mar 9, 2011...
    Dont know if anyone is still reading this but i stumbled across it in sheer desperation.  I'm English and I too am 31 attractive educated own house and fairly good job but people enjoy hurting me.  Ive had a lot of sorrow in the past 7 years and dont seem to be getting a break.  What is it we do wrong?  Has anyone come up with any good advice you can pass on?  I never though being lonely could be so bad but have run out of ideas -

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